‎The Middle Path.. Get a Non White-Black Perspective By Maryn Hall

In The Mindful Child, Susan Greenland tells a fable about an old man who lived with his son on a farm near a tiny village. One day the farmer’s horse ran away. The neighbors told him how sorry they were to hear about his misfortune. The farmer said, “We’ll see.”

The next day the farmer’s horse came home, accompanied by two strong, wild horses. The neighbors said, “How wonderful!” The farmer again said, “We’ll see.”

The following day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses. He was thrown to the ground and suffered a broken leg. The neighbors said, “How tragic.” The farmer replied, “We’ll see.”

The next day, military leaders arrived in the small village to draft all the young men into service. The farmer’s son was exempt because of his broken leg. The neighbors congratulated the farmer and the farmer said, “We’ll see.”

This fable is an example of how events are not usually all positive or all negative in their consequences. When we think in extreme terms (black and white) or we focus on only positive or negative emotions, we limit our cognitive and emotional flexibility as well as our understanding of the world around us. One way to find the middle path is remember that often there are often both negative and positive results from the same event.

Another way to find the middle path is to think of what options or information you might be leaving out of consideration. If people stop talking when you walk into a room, they might be talking negatively about you. On the other hand, they may be planning a surprise for your birthday. Not making assumptions or jumping to conclusions can save you unnecessary suffering.

Being willing to accept yourself and others when you are upset is another way of walking the middle path. You will make mistakes and those you love will make mistakes, sometimes mistakes that are very hurtful. If you are angry and unforgiving with yourself whenever you make a mistake or think you are responsible for negative outcomes, then you are thinking in black and white terms about yourself. The same may be true of others. At times you will be angry with those you love and at other times you will be grateful to them.

Perhaps you hate yourself when you make mistakes or in general. It is difficult to develop resiliency and a willingness to take risks, to learn from mistakes and move on, when you think so harshly about yourself. If you practice compassion for yourself, you will increase your ability to manage difficult situations.

When you think in extremes, you often don’t get an accurate view of the world, which complicates decision-making. Finding the middle path will help you manage those wonderfully intense emotions and also not allow them to impair you in making effective decisions and choices.

Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!

An Interesting but True Story —
Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive.

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:  ’This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?” The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.  The Engineer returned for three more nights.

The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka – Time was now the problem – not the vanilla ice cream!!!!

The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapor lock”.  It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.

Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.