The Pink Dress - "Don't Judge People by Appearances.. If someone is different, he/she is with their own unique qualities.."

Came across this little story on Motivateus.com..Must read..

There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word.

Many people passed by her, but no one would stop. The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.

Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone.

As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her. Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different.

As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare. As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form. I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello."

The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi," after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why she was so sad.

The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, "Because, I'm different."

I immediately said, "That you are!" and smiled.

The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know."

"Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent."

She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?"

"Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all those people walking by."

She nodded her head yes, and smiled. With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am. I'm your Guardian Angel" with a twinkle in her eye.

I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things.

She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done."

I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?"

She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You're the only one that could see me" and then she was gone.

And with that, my life was changed dramatically. So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you.

--- Author Unknown

"Don't Judge People by Appearances.. 

If someone is different, he/she is with their own unique qualities.."  

Life Is a Gift

 


One day there was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. Not just for herself, but she also hated everyone except her boyfriend. He was always there for her. He said he would marry that girl if that girl was able to see the world. 

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to the girl, who she was finally able to see everything, including the girl's lover. 

He asked her girlfriend happily, "Honey, now you can already see the world. Do you want to marry me..?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind. And she refused to marry her boyfriend who so far has been very loyal once accompanied her during the girl's blind eyes.
And finally the man was going to shed a tear, then write a brief letter to the girl, "Honey, you please take good care of the eyes that I gave you." 

The girl was crying and realized her folly.. 

Great was the sacrifice her lover did but.. he was left with an injured heart... 

The story above shows how the human changes when his/her status changes. Few people remember what life was before, and even fewer remember to whom to thank you for accompanying and supporting even in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

• Today before you say an unkind word.. Think of someone who can't speak..
• Before you complain about the taste of your food.. Think of someone who has nothing to eat..
• Before you complain about your husband or wife.. Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion..
• Today before you complain about life.. Think of someone who died too young.
• Before you complain about your children.. Think of someone who desires children but they're barren..
• Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep.. Think of the people who are living in the streets..
• Before whining about the distance you drive.. Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet..
• And when you are tired and complain about your job.. Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job..
• But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another.. Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER..
• And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down.. Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around..

How to Apologize

Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully


Scott has just arrived at his staff meeting, and he can tell that his boss, Catherine, is stressed. He ignores the tension in the room, and launches into his carefully researched presentation. 

After a few minutes, however, Catherine picks up on a tiny error and begins to berate Scott. She accuses him, and the rest of the team, of not pulling their weight. Her hurtful words embarrass Scott, and he leaves the meeting early because he's so upset. 

As the days pass, Scott expects Catherine to apologize for her behavior. However, the apology never comes, and their relationship becomes strained, resentful, and unproductive. A few months later, Scott takes a position in another department. 

In this situation, Catherine could have healed her relationship with Scott with a sincere apology after the meeting. But, instead, she lost a talented team member. 

In this article, we'll see why apologies are so important, and we'll look at how to apologize with sincerity and grace when you've made a mistake. 

What is an Apology?
 
An apology is a statement that has two key elements:

1. It shows your remorse over your actions.
2. It acknowledges the hurt that your actions have caused to someone else.

We all need to learn how to apologize - after all, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, and we all have the capability to hurt people through our behaviors and actions, whether these are intentional or not.
It isn't always easy to apologize, but it's often the most effective way to restore trust and balance in a relationship, when you've done something wrong. 

Why Apologize?
 
There are many reasons why you should make a sincere apology when you've hurt someone unnecessarily, or have made a mistake. 

First, an apology opens a dialogue between yourself and the other person. Your willingness to admit your mistake can give the other person the opportunity he needs to communicate with you, and start dealing with his feelings. 

When you apologize, you also acknowledge that you engaged in unacceptable behavior. This helps you rebuild trust and reestablish your relationship with the other person. It also gives you a chance to discuss what is and isn't acceptable. 

What's more, when you admit that the situation was your fault, you restore dignity to the person you hurt. This can begin the healing process, and it can ensure that she doesn't unjustly blame herself for what happened. 

Last, a sincere apology shows that you're taking responsibility for your actions. This can strengthen your self-confidence, self-respect, and reputation. You're also likely to feel a sense of relief when you come clean about your actions, and it's one of the best ways to restore your integrity in the eyes of others. 

Consequences of not apologizing
 
What are the consequences if you don't apologize when you've made a mistake?
First, you will damage your relationships with colleagues, clients, friends, or family. It can harm your reputation, limit your career opportunities, and lower your effectiveness - and others may not want to work with you.
It also negatively affects your team when you don't apologize. No one wants to work for a boss who can't own up to his mistakes, and who doesn't apologize for them. The animosity, tension, and pain that comes with this can create a toxic work environment. 

Why Apologies are Difficult
 
With all these negative consequences, why do some people still refuse to apologize?
First, apologies take courage. When you admit that you were wrong, it puts you in a vulnerable position, which can open you up to attack or blame. Some people struggle to show this courage. 

Alternatively, you may be so full of shame and embarrassment over your actions that you can't bring yourself to face the other person. 

Or, you may be following the advice "never apologize, never explain." It's up to you if you want to be this arrogant, but, if you do, don't expect to be seen as a wise or an inspiring leader. 

How to Apologize Appropriately
 
In an article in the Journal of Psycholinguistic Research, psychologists Steven Scher and John Darley present a four-step framework that you can use when you make an apology.
Let's look at each step, below. 

Step 1: Express Remorse
Every apology needs to start with two magic words: "I'm sorry," or "I apologize." This is essential, because these words express remorse over your actions.
For example, you could say: "I'm sorry that I snapped at you yesterday. I feel embarrassed and ashamed by the way I acted." 

Your words need to be sincere and authentic. Be honest with yourself, and with the other person, about why you want to apologize. Never make an apology when you have ulterior motives, or if you see it as a means to an end. 

Timeliness is also important here. Apologize as soon as you realize that you've wronged someone else. 

Step 2: Admit Responsibility
 
Next, admit responsibility for your actions or behavior, and acknowledge what you did.
Here, you need to empathize with the person you wronged, and demonstrate that you understand how you made her feel. 

Don't make assumptions - instead, simply try to put yourself in that person's shoes and imagine how she felt. 

For example: "I know that I hurt your feelings yesterday when I snapped at you. I'm sure this embarrassed you, especially since everyone else on the team was there. I was wrong to treat you like that." 

Step 3: Make Amends
 
When you make amends, you take action to make the situation right.
Here are two examples:
"If there's anything that I can do to make this up to you, please just ask."
"I realize that I was wrong to doubt your ability to chair our staff meeting. I'd like you to lead the team through tomorrow's meeting to demonstrate your skills."
Think carefully about this step. Token gestures or empty promises will do more harm than good. Because you feel guilty, you might also be tempted to give more than what's appropriate - so be proportionate in what you offer. 

Step 4: Promise That it Won't Happen Again
 
Your last step is to explain that you won't repeat the action or behavior.
This step is important because you reassure the other person that you're going to change your behavior. This helps you rebuild trust and repair the relationship.
You could say: "From now on, I'm going to manage my stress better so that I don't snap at you and the rest of the team. And, I want you to call me out if I do this again."
Make sure that you honor this commitment in the days or weeks to come - if you promise to change your behavior, but don't follow through; others will question your reputation and your trustworthiness. 

Tip:
 
If you're concerned that your words won't come out right when you apologize, write down what you want to say, and then role-play the conversation with a trusted friend or colleague. However, don't practice so much that your apology sounds rehearsed. 

Further Strategies for Effective Apologies
 
In addition to the four steps above, keep the following in mind when you apologize.

Don't Offer Excuses
 
During an apology, many people are tempted to explain their actions. This can be helpful, but explanations can often serve as excuses, and these can weaken your apology. Don't shift part of the blame onto someone or something else in an attempt to reduce responsibility. 

Here is an example of using excuses in an apology: "I'm sorry that I snapped at you when you came into my office yesterday. I had a lot on my plate, and my boss demanded my project report an hour earlier than planned." In this case, you excuse your behavior because of stress, and you imply that the other person was at fault because he bothered you on a busy day. This makes you look weak. 

A better approach is to say, "I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday." This is short and heartfelt, and it offers no excuses for your behavior. 

Tip:
 
Make sure that you are fair to yourself when you make an apology. There is a fine balance between taking full responsibility and taking responsibility for too much. 

Don't Expect Instant Forgiveness
 
Keep in mind that the other person might not be ready to forgive you for what happened. Give that person time to heal, and don't rush her through the process.
For example, after you make your apology, you could say, "I know that you might not be ready to forgive me, and I understand how that feels. I simply wanted to say how sorry I am. I'll give you plenty of time to see that I'm changing my behavior."

Be Aware of Legal Ramifications
 
Bear in mind that the law in some countries and regions may interpret an apology as an admission of liability or guilt. 

Before you apologize on behalf of your organization, you may want to speak with your boss, or get further advice from a legal professional. However, don't use this as an excuse not to apologize, unless the risk is significant. 

Tip 1:
 
Be gracious and fair when you receive an apology. If you respond with aggression or self-righteousness, you may lose the respect of the person who apologized, as well as the respect of the people around you. 

Tip 2:
 
Don't demand an apology from someone else. They may well refuse, and you can easily end up in an angry, unproductive standoff. 

Key Points
 
An apology is a statement of remorse that you make when you've done something wrong. It can be difficult to apologize, but it can do a lot to heal relationships and rebuild trust.
Follow these steps when you make an apology:

1. Express remorse.
2. Admit responsibility.
3. Make amends.
4. Promise that it won't happen again.

Don't offer excuses when you apologize. Otherwise, you'll sound as if you're trying to shift blame away from yourself and on to someone or something else.
When you're able to apologize sincerely and professionally, you show yourself to be honest and emotionally mature. You also signify your need to focus on progress, not pettiness, and you give your colleagues the chance to do the same.
This kind of open, honest communication makes a big difference in so many situations.

Courtesy:
James Manktelow (Mindtools.com)

25 AWESOME TIPS FOR BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God's guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this

matter?'

17. Help the needy,Be generous ! Be a 'Giver' not a 'Taker'

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is,it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed,Pray to God and Be thankful for what you'll accomplish, today!

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. Share this to everyone to help them lead a happier life...!!!!

The Four Wives..

A man had four wives..
He loved his fourth wife the most and took a great care of her and gave her the best. 

He also loved his third wife and always wanted to show her off to his friends. However, he was always had a fear that she might runaway with some other man.

He loved his second wife too. Whenever he faced some problems, he always turned to his second wife and she would always help him out.

He did not love his first wife though she loved him deeply, was very loyal to him and took great care of him. 

One day the man fell very ill and knew that he is going to die soon. He told himself, "I have four wives with me. I will take one of them along with me when I die to keep company in my death."

Thus, he asked the fourth wife to die along with him and keep company. "No way!" she replied and walked away without another word.

He asked his third wife.She said "Life is so good over here. I'm going to remarry when you die". He then asked his second wife. She said "I'm Sorry. I can't help you this time around. At the most I can only accompany you till your grave."

By now his heart sank and turned cold. Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." the man looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the man said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!"

Actually, we all have four wives in our lives.

a. The fourth wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. The third wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they go to others.

c. The second wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the farthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The first wife is the our soul, neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and pleasure. It is the only thing that follows us wherever we go..

Law of the Garbage Truck..

This has to be one of the best messages i have received in a long time.. A must read to implement in our daily lives..

Law of the Garbage Truck..

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took  off for the airport. We were driving in the  right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in  front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded  and missed the other car by just  inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started  yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at  the guy. I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, 'Why did you just do  that? This guy could almost ruin your car  and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me  what I now call,

'Law of the Garbage  Truck'

He explained that many people are like  garbage trucks. They run around full of  garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointments. As and when  their  garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on!

Don't take their garbage and spread it to  other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So ... Love the people who treat you right..

Pray for the ones who don't!

Life is 10  %  what you make it.

AND

90 %  how you take it!

Have a Garbage-free Life.. ;-)

A Question to Dr Kalam..!!

(Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam at Wharton India Economic forum, Philadelphia, March 22, 2008) 

Question: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure? 

Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India's satellite launch vehicle program, commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India 's "Rohini" satellite into orbit by 1980. I was given funds and human resources -- but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space. Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal.

By 1979 -- I think the month was August -- we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that some control components were not in order.

My experts -- I had four or five of them with me -- told me not to worry; they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal . It was a big failure.

That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish Dhawan, had called a press conference. The launch was at 7:00 am, and the press conference -- where journalists from around the world were present -- was at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India ].

Prof. Dhawan, the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure -- he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed.

Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure, but instead, he took responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization.

The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite -- and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, "You conduct the press conference today."

I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure. When success came, he gave it to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading a book; it came from that experience.

The Black Dot

A small town chamber of commerce invited a speaker to address its annual dinner. The community’s economy was bad, people were discouraged, and they wanted this motivational speaker to give them a boost.

During her presentation, the speaker took a large piece of white paper and made a small black dot in the centre of it with a marking pen. Then she held the paper up before the group and ask them what they saw.

One person quickly replied, “I see a black dot.”

“Okay, what else do you see?”

Others joined in agreement : “A black dot.”

“Don’t you see anything besides the dot?” she asked.

A resounding “No” came from the audience.

“What about the sheet of paper?” asked the speaker. “I am sure you have all seen it”, she said, “But you have chosen to overlook it.”

“In life, we also tend to overlook and take for granted many wonderful things that we have or happen around us and focus our attention and energy on small, dot like failures and disappointments. The so called ‘problems’ that we have are usually like the black dot on the paper. They are small and insignificant if we can widen our horizon and look at the whole picture.”